Examination of Conscience
183. Knowing Ourselves. Saints and spiritual masters are unanimous in recommending the examination of conscience. They consider it one of the most effective methods for correcting faults, achieving conversion and becoming saints. To some extent the great spiritual master, St. Ignatius Loyola, thought more highly of the examination than he did of vocal prayer or even meditation. He said that through meditation the Lord reveals what our conduct should be but the examination of conscience makes us aware of what it actually is. He recommended the examination of conscience to his first followers; in his view it was second in importance only to the sacraments. That excellent spiritual director, Dubois, said: “Every priest – and I would add every missionary – who makes a good examination of conscience every day will surely become a saint. Someone who neglects this practice will have the same defects all his life long and will never improve.”
I would suggest the Ignatian method of examination: place yourselves in the presence of God, renew your faith and thank God for gifts received; ask for help to understand yourselves thoroughly and in-depth; pray that He make you aware not just of your sins and defects but also of what causes them; examine your thoughts, words, works and omissions; feel sorrow for sins committed; make practical resolutions.
If you have resolved to correct a shortcoming and then fall again do not lose courage but rather begin again. The Lord will bless your efforts. Learn to love the examination of conscience – not just here and now but throughout your life in the missions. If you put these things into practice you will make great progress on the road to holiness.
Spiritual Reading
184. Sustenance for life. By spiritual reading I mean those books of ascetic theology or similar subjects that foster priestly, religious or missionary life. St. Jerome urged Nepotianus never to neglect the practice of reading every day. St. Francis de Sales calls spiritual reading is oil for the lamp of prayer.
Spiritual reading promotes conversion. St. Ignatius was converted through spiritual reading and so was St. Augustine. The tears and pleas of Augustine’s mother did not turn him from a life of worldliness and error; nor did the sermons of St. Ambrose succeed in convincing him. Passion had laid siege to his heart and he continued his life of self-indulgence for years until one day he came across the words of St. Paul: “Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature” (Romans 13,13-14). This was all he needed to change his life. Simply reading those words put all his doubts to flight.
St. Jerome writes that in prayer we speak to God but in spiritual reading God speaks to us. Before reading anything we should say: “Speak Lord, your servant heareth” (I Samuel 3,10). What we read must take root in our heart. We read not just for information – we read to feed our spirit. We must read with good will and simplicity – and what we read will become life-sustaining. We must learn how to benefit from everything we read. We are like a wardrobe to which new clothes are continually being added. Thus in the missions we will find that we have accumulated a treasure house of useful information. Everything we read should provide us with a thought or insight that merits further consideration.
The Imitation of Christ is a book that has been my life-long companion. I have given away so many copies of this book – but I have always kept and used my own copy. As a seminarian I made a digest of the book and would read something every morning and then think about what I had read throughout the day. It is impossible to read the Imitation of Christ without being moved. It is full of heart-warming words – for example: “My son you will never be overcome by work undertaken on my behalf;” “Let us be committed to meditating on the life of Our Lord Jesus Christ.”
The Sacrament of Reconciliation
185. Love for Confession. St. John writes: “The blood of Jesus Christ purifies us from all sin” (I John 1,7) even our own daily sins “because we all fail in many things” (James 3,2). Let us thank the Lord for this great gift He has given us: Confession. We must learn how to use it to become saints. This sacrament confirms us in righteousness and the purity of our conscience. For Father G. Bruno Reconciliation is an excellent method for making our life ever more pure. In the words of St. Augustine: “If you want health, beauty and holiness – love Confession.” St. John Bosco claims that no other sacrament encompasses so many virtues: faith, hope, charity, humility, etc. Someone who goes to Confession frequently is a more likely recipient of the Lord’s grace.
186. A Spirit of Faith. It is extremely important that we make good confessions. The first prerequisite is to approach the sacrament with faith and to see Jesus in the confessor no matter who he is. We must believe that we are making our confession to Our Lord and it is He who says, “I absolve you.”
The second prerequisite is a good examination of conscience. Confess your own real, conscious, voluntary and even insignificant sins and not your scruples, virtues or the faults of others. Our examination must include all our actions, words, thoughts and not jest the same two or three things over and over.
187. Go to the Roots. In our examination we should investigate the reasons we commit the sins we confess. For example: I have been uncharitable. But I must go further and ask why have I been uncharitable. Because I envy the person I have treated uncharitably. Then I must confess not just the uncharitable act but the envy that caused it as well. We must discover the root causes of our sins. Why after so many confessions and so many resolutions to improve do we find ourselves with the same shortcomings and defects? Because we never got to the root of our problems. We made only a superficial examination that failed to plumb the depths of our heart and discover why we committed sins of uncharitableness and pride over and over. Tear down the wall that conceals the root causes of our passions! Make thorough examinations and detailed confessions.
Then we must feel sorrow and here we often come up short. Since our sins are often trivial we do not really feel any particular sorrow. We need not necessarily feel sorrow but we must certainly want to feel it. Do not brood over past sins however. Once a sin is forgiven forget about it. The Lord should not have to say: why are you still suffering? (Cf. Psalm 4,3). We must understand how important this sacrament is – it is holy and should never be considered a burden.
Retreats
188. Spiritual Exercises. The Lord often drew apart to pray and invited the apostles to accompany Him: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6,31). He says the same thing to you; you must leave all your concerns aside and retire to the solitude of spiritual exercises. Retreats are a great grace – they are indeed days of grace and health. They are days of peace and grace for which we must be grateful.
Let us prepare ourselves through prayer: often invoking the Holy Spirit to come to our help so that we do not receive God’s grace in vain. To make a good retreat remote preparation is necessary. To benefit from the grace God may grant you, prepare your spirit, mind and heart before beginning the retreat. Be generous in your preparation; say to yourself: “I want this retreat to be the best one of my life.” Be determined right now to deny the Lord nothing.
And what do you do during the days of the retreat? Pray more, pray more enthusiastically, pray well: this is your primary concern. Then there are meditations and times for reflection. The retreat master’s talks can help but it is up to you to explore the depths of your heart. We must open our heart and look into its very depths. This requires silence. Not just exterior silence – no words or gestures – but interior silence as well: we cultivate a spirit of recollection. Think about what you have heard, meditate on the words and mull them over in your heart. In short, be close to God and speak with him: just God and your soul – nothing else. The time of a retreat is precious and we must not waste a minute of it. It is not just us speaking to the Lord – He is speaking to us. We must say with Samuel, “Speak Lord, your servant heareth” (I Samuel 3,9). We must listen to what He has to say and be willing to do whatever He tells us.
Examine yourself to determine if you are following the Lord Jesus’ example – He is the paradigm of all virtue – does your life reflect His? Everyone should imitate Jesus – but how much more important for missionaries to imitate Him. Above all pay attention to your usual shortcomings – these are the ones we tend to overlook.
Finally we must make practical resolutions on two important matters: our dominant shortcoming and the virtue we most need. St. James tells us that word of God is not just to be heard but to be put into practice. We must not just make resolutions we must carry them out: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1,22). Our resolutions are gifts from God and will bring down blessings upon us. God’s gifts increase when we respond to them. Sometimes all we need is determination. The saints were very much like us – they heard the voice of the Lord and gave themselves to Him – in short they responded to His grace. Let this be the same for us!
189. Monthly Day of Recollection. It is a day devoted to the “only thing that matters” (Cf. Luke 10,42). It should renew our energy and the resolutions we made during our retreat; we must restore our first fervor. But we must do the monthly day of recollection well. And how do we do this? First of all it should be a day of silence. Not total silence, however: you do not speak to others but you do speak to God. Silence and recollection. Everything you do on this day should be a prayer.
The most important part of this practice is the examination on the subject of your dominant fault and how much progress has been made in the virtue you most need. Our community and our Congregation will be blest if we practice the monthly day of recollection well. It is a holy practice never to be abandoned by our Congregation. I expect it to be a source of great benefit for us and for our apostolate.